It's Who She Is
by AkaOkamiRyu
Summary: It's who she is. It's Will.' A series of Will centered one shots, about various subjects. Rating for one mild cursing. Third installment up, The Brink of Uncertainty.
1. It's Who She Is

So this is a Will story, written because I understand and love her character so much. She is, in some ways, very much a tragic hero. So this is a story of her. It's somewhat random and goes in all sorts of directions, so my apologies.

Anyways, standard disclaimer applies, I don't own W.I.T.C.H., just love it.

Written for all those wonderful writers in this fandom, whose stories I adore. Most especially, Seniya, Zadien, Dame Hetchel, Kadeana, and Sokai, most of whom's stories I have gotten terribly behind in reading and thus reviewing. If you couldn't tell I'm personally a Will/Caleb fan, though this story contains no ships of any sort.

- . - It's Who She Is - . -

They are all so broken, she thinks with a sigh and single crystal tear.

Sometimes at night, when the sky is dark and she has escaped the well-meant optimism of her closest friends, and she has managed to separate herself from their loving, caring presence, she goes off on her own, sits by herself and thinks about things, lets her tears fall with the same silence she uses with her emotions.

Never let them see you falter, not even for a step. Don't let them know when you're drowning in your own conflictions. She has always been the strong one. Steady and true, the one who helps when there's a problem, never the one who has them. Sometimes it makes her crazy, to be that person, because she just wants to yell and cry and have someone hold her, just once, and keep her close until the tears can't fall anymore and say, just softly, just once, that it'll be okay. And no matter how it would seem, it wouldn't be a lie, because she'd know it would be. Someday.

But she never has that. That one moment where she is weak and defenseless, shattered in the arms of someone who just gives enough of a damn. Because she is not that person.

She is the one who swallows their problems like water, and gives them words of honey for comfort. She is the one who holds them, who doesn't let go until they pull away, who says it'll be alright. She's the one they believe, and she always has been.

Normally, she doesn't mind. It's who she is. It's Will. But there are some days her bitter anger and her broken spirit wants to lash out and push them away. Because it's all so unfair sometimes. And yet, she never does. Because even when it hurts, it is familiar, and expected and it is the one constant in her constantly conflicting life. And she would be just as lost without it as with it, so really, there's nothing for it.

All there is are these moments, stolen, short, too rare and too cold. The tears run down her cheek more like drops of ice than tear, more like a dagger cutting her cheeks than a soothing comfort calming her.

And then someone comes, and she must swallow hard, wipe her cheeks carefully so they won't notice, and fight back the despair and the resentment that flares momentarily in her chest. Because it's who she is. It's Will.

She's so broken. They are all so broken, she often thinks on those nights. There's probably not enough glue in the world to fix them all. And even down the road, when this fight is over, and they're off "living their lives", all fixed and right and perfect again, she'll never be. Because even if there was enough glue to fix her, to put her worn and torn pieces back into place, she wouldn't know where to start, and she certainly couldn't do it on her own. It never works.

- . - End - . -

So ends my first (published) W.I.T.C.H. piece. I have many more started which will one day appear here, so here's to hoping I started off well.

Hope you enjoyed it, and if you'd be so kind as to review, feedback of all sorts who be helpful for future reference and efforts.

G'day!

AkaOkamiRyu


	2. l Dangerous Affections l

I decided to expand my original Will centric one shot, Who She Is, to a series of one shots and drabbles in which Will is the main character. The over arcing title will continued to be Who She Is, because I believe that it's remains a good, all encompassing theme and connecting point for all the stories. Everything that happens occurs because Will is Will.

That being said, welcome to the second installment, Dangerous Affections. This story is largely a romance, and so, in forewarning, I fancy the Will/Caleb relationship in this series. I have one other completed installment for this series, and that too is a Will/Caleb story. So you know. However, because not everyone enjoys Will/Caleb, though they might like Will, all romance stories will have an asterisk in the chapter title.

Now that that's taken care of, I do not own W.I.T.C.H. or any of the characters, I only own the plot of my story and the tale that I've spun. Now on with the story.

- . - Dangerous Affections - . -

She was choking, drowning, burning, scratching, fighting, clawing, dying, breaking, suffocating, and it was so sharp, so strong. She thought she might be going crazy.

She'd long nursed some tender crush, a special fondness that had always been a soft spot in her heart where he was concerned. She'd gotten used to it, had come to expect it really.

And he for his part, had always unknowingly encouraged the partiality. With his constant concern for her wellbeing, his soft demeanor where she was concerned, his respect for her particular opinions in battle, and with his well-meant, jesting quips and calm presence at times when her life began to spiral out of control.

She had not, however, expected for that feeling to suddenly and unexpectedly flare up one day.

She didn't even know why. All she remembered was that all of a sudden, every time she saw him her heart swelled, pounding so violently in her chest that she feared it might rip out, and tugged, as if to throw itself to him.

One minute she was just sitting in the Silver Dragon, laughing with her friends, waiting for he and Hay Lin to finish their shifts, half listening to Cornelia drone on about some pair of shoes she'd seen, half listening to the music coming from her mp3 player and the headphone in one ear. The next she was watching his every move, her eyes so fixed on him she might've burned a hole in his shoulder, singing along and surprised to find how much every song she listened to reminded her of him.

It was maddening.

Worse than that, it was exhilarating, because now every moment spent even vaguely near him brought an electrically heightened awareness, so that every breath, every scent, every touch, every sound, every smile, every glance jolted her nerves and ensnared her attention, until nothing existed but him.

Which, considering her general lack of grace anywhere but in a pool was quickly becoming hazardous.

This week alone she had tripped fourteen times, walked into four walls, been late for curfew three times, and had nearly crashed her bike into a parked car.

If she didn't figure this out soon, there was no doubt that Will was going to kill herself.

Which just went to show he was dangerous, and so were these suddenly intense new feelings, Will realized, as she righted her bike, glared viciously at the pothole that had sprung up from nowhere and glared vaguely at the figure which was busily washing a table across the street, completely unaware.

- . - The End - . -

I hope you've enjoyed this 'chapter' or whatever you fancy to call it, and I hope you'll stop in next time. I should have the next story up in a few days time.

If you have any ideas for Will oneshots that you'd like to see written, feel free to leave them in a review/email/private message and I'll do my best to use them!

Thanks,

AkaOkamiRyu


	3. l The Brink of Uncertainty l

So this is the third installment of It's Who She Is, my series of Will centered one shot fanfics of various type and origin. This one's called The Brink of Uncertainty, which is about where I'd place Will throughout the piece. This one is my most blatant romance piece, no hints about it. It's of course Will/Caleb, so if you don't fancy that pairing, you may not want to read this chapter.

Also since the asterisk didn't work in the last chapter title I'm going to try some other type of signal so that stories with any hint of the pairing are marked, so non-fans will recognize that.

As always, I do not own the series, just love and enjoy it.

- . - The Brink of Uncertainty - . -

Sometimes she wonders if he knows. She thinks he almost must. Honestly, at this point, how can he not? Her ability to conceal her emotions, to remain generally neutral and seemingly unconcerned, is about as efficient as her grace; which is to say almost always lacking. So really, is there any even vaguely likely hope that he hasn't read her like the magazine [for she has even surpassed books in her readability by now, she imagines she must be and discovered the truth; that she is in so terribly deep now, she can't even see the beginning.

In the course of her wonderings, at those times in which she is completely certain that he can't not know, she wonders at his silence. Why doesn't he say anything to her? She always imagines it's simply because he doesn't feel the same and is much too sweet to hurt her feels by saying so. After all, he is Caleb.

Stubborn, silly, sweet Caleb, her closest male friend in the world, and the only one who always trusts her, always believes in her. She always was the reluctant leader, a good one, maybe, but never quite ready for the role. She's grown into it now, more confident, more sure, but she's not perfect. She has those moments when she stumbles, makes mistakes. Cornelia always notices, is quick to point out, never meaning harm of course, but that's just Cornelia's way; blunt and honest to a fault. And the other girls have their little ways of taking note of her mistakes. She doesn't blame them, again, she never expected to be that kind of leader, but sometimes it gets frustrating when she's trying her best and the people she needs most have lost faith in her.

But Caleb never does. Even when she makes mistakes, he believes in her. Always trusts and knows she'll find their way in the end. But then again, Caleb is a leader too. He understands that even leaders make mistakes, more then others usually. Or at least more notably. And so he never faults her, just encourages her in his own quiet, gentle way. Surprising for a man who commands legions of loyal followers on attacks and raids against a militant, unjust, and undeserving ruler.

And in all honesty, sometimes she wonders why he doesn't fault her, doesn't criticize or judge or take over. He knows so much better, is so much better at this all. Yet he never does. He might help her along, guide her in that way of his, but he never gives up on her. She supposes it's part of that, part of that warmth and understanding that makes him gentle with her. Perhaps that's why, if he does know, he says nothing. He's just too Caleb.

But then of course, there's always that chance that he has no idea. That he doesn't see how she looks at him or how frustrated she gets when he's just sitting there, joking around, being all Caleb-y and wonderful and she's so close she can feel his breath or his arm or the heat from his body and it drives her insane.

How can he not notice? It frustrates her to no end. Even now, even still. Even though she has been living with these feelings, feelings that have gotten progressively worse for months now, even though she thought when it all started, a year ago nearly, that she'd just push it aside and go on with her life. Some days it's so annoying, so completely aggravating that she just wants to scream or cry or just ask him how he can be so stupid. She's lost so much of herself to this… attraction? Infatuation? Affection? Love? That she finds it impossible that he can't notice.

Maybe he really can't. Maybe he can. Maybe, she begins to think, grasping at the quickly slipping threads of her mental well being, maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it's all irrelevant. Maybe she doesn't even feel this way.

Maybe she's just caught a year long flu or something. Maybe she's going insane or she's delusional.

Probably not, she acquiesces with frustrated dejection. But maybe .There is always hope, after all.

- . - The End - . -

I hope you've enjoyed this installment, and until the next time, feel free to leave comments, suggestions, constructive criticism in the form of a review, as I don't check my email as often as I probably should.

Thanks,

AkaOkamiRyu


End file.
